What Bugs Me
The suffering of a divorced man

This man is often seen at the gate of this Bukit Batok unit trying to play with his children from the outside. He's not allowed into the house to play with his children, or take them out to play as his ex-wife forbids him from doing so, says STOMPer Kris.

In an email to STOMP yesterday (Jul 20), the STOMPer says:

"I was curious as to why this man is always standing at the gate of my tuition student at an apartment block in Bukit Batok every Thurs evening and Sat morning either playing with 3 small children or being scolded by 2 ladies from the unit. One of them was holding a camera filming the whole process.

"Sometimes, police would turn up and leave.

"One day, I decided to walk to him and ask why.

"This well spoken man told me his story:

'I am divorced from my wife and since then, my three children were under her care and control.

'Court order says I can see my children every Thurs 6pm to 830pm and Saturday 9am to 1.30pm but every time I turn up, my ex-wife refuses to let me bring my children out.

'She would lock me outside the house and sometimes she's 'kind' enough to open the door but lock the gate and let my children play with me.

'My children misses me but they say that mummy doesn't allow them to go out with me.

'I tried to call the police because court order states that it is a penal offence if my wife refuses to let me bring my children out. However, when the police arrived, they could not do anything. They only advised me to re-apply to court.

"I called family court, court says seek legal advise and apply accordingly. I did so but was told that I need to queue up for such process as it's tedious.

'Relevant officers attending to my case says it's common for men in Singapore to be treated like this because of the women charter. I divorced my wife because of her unreasonable behaviour.

'Since the divorce, she is even more unreasonable but what can I do? I am helpless.'

"Look at the pictures. This man simply deserves our sympathy."

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132 comments
thereandhere said   on 18 Oct, 2010   Report as offensive  
lucky he divorced her... unresonable women are really f up...upppz to the man~!!!!!.....she will get divorced again and again...
alfredch said   on 4 Jan, 2010   Report as offensive  
Cases like these are very common in Singapore.
Over the past 6 months, I have the opportunity to know many divorced parents (mostly fathers, and some mothers as well) in similar sitiuations.
They can only meet their children at the door because their ex-spouses simply refuse to let the children go out with them during their child access time. And almost all of these court order violators are never made accountable.

And by the way, no ex-spouse would be so dumb to admit its their mistakes, especially when things are in their favour.
asianseller said   on 25 Dec, 2009   Report as offensive  
It could have been some issue that the wife doesn't allow him to touch the kids. Can't trust his story unless the wife admit the problems lies with her.
cheesecheese said   on 1 Aug, 2009   Report as offensive  
Hi... If anybody do have any further information regarding this article can please kindly post it here... thanks...
alfredch said   on 30 Jul, 2009   Report as offensive  
Kris,Do let this father know that Centre For Fathering at T.Payoh is organising a discussion session on 6 Aug evening for parents with child access issues (ash him to call 62528408 to enquire) Also help to spread the word if u know of any parents who need help and support in this area. Alfred Christensen
isftish5 said   on 28 Jul, 2009   Report as offensive  
"There must be a reason why the wife is granted custody to the 3 children. It is not easy for a woman to bring up 3 chidren.... "not really. if she managed to get enough maintenance from the husband, she can get a maid take care of the kids, and go and enjoy the remainder of the money.
Starfox444 said   on 28 Jul, 2009   Report as offensive  
'His ex wife's heart must be not balance, lose husband now and want to take revenge on him. Not letting him contact freely with kids.' not only his ex-wife heart not balance, her brain also not balance...mukahahahahaa YES! I agree!
NanHuaLaoXian said   on 27 Jul, 2009   Report as offensive  
There must be a reason why the wife is granted custody to the 3 children. It is not easy for a woman to bring up 3 chidren....