A deep-seated fear can infiltrate your very being and change the way you view life. Simply Her writer Serena Vera Hey asked two women, including a survivor of the Phuket tsunami in 2004, about their greatest fears and how they managed to overcome them.

Fear of losing her child: Karen Tan, 36, freelance writer

“My daughter and I are survivors of the Phuket tsunami in 2004. I remember seeing a father wading into the water, screaming desperately for his children. It broke my heart when I realised they might have drowned because he wasn’t with them.

Once, at the beach, my daughter suddenly disappeared. I panicked and thought that she’d either been kidnapped or had drowned. Thankfully, my cousin found her nearby.

To this day, she’s careful to tell me exactly where she’s going. I also kiss and hug her tight every morning – it’s our ritual of silence, in case I never see her again. It’s a horrid thought; I know that there’s no way for a mother to say goodbye to her child.

I educate her about avoiding entrances or exits where someone could easily drag her off, and being careful about strangers. I’ve also learnt to trust those in charge of her, like when she attends tuition classes. The fear will never completely go away, but I’ve learnt to at least allay them and do my best as a parent.”

Fear of an unfulfilled life: Azrina Zaman, 27, doctor

“None of us are strangers to death, but sometimes it hits you hard. For me, my fear began with the passing of my classmate when I was at university. I also had three uncles who passed away in their 30s.

Besides grief, I felt angry that their lives were cut in their prime – and a fear that I’d die too, before fulfilling all that I’d hope to do.

It wasn’t easy to change – I started small! I bought a slightly pricey shirt that I really liked, although my first instinct was to wait, since I always felt that I had to save my money rather than spend it.

From then, whenever I hesitated doing something, I questioned whether it was because I was afraid, and if that was the case, pushed myself to do it.

My conviction to overcome this made me stronger and braver in conquering smaller fears like trying new things, or doing things solo. I’ve now begun travelling alone to experience new places. I’m also presenting a medical paper at an international conference in September, and am loving my new shirt.”

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